Why do people always fart in charity shops??

Today I visited my local town Beeston, which offers what you would expect from a small suburb of Nottingham, with the occasional fight outside Quality Seconds, a pub which offers a full English breakfast and a pint for £5, and a bank which opens for a maximum of 4 hours a week. After attempting to open a student bank account, to be faced with a firmly closed wooden door, I bought a couple of plays from the second hand book shop on the high street, in the hope of broadening my theatrical knowledge. They will probably be left untouched and will end up in the more caring hands of William. As most English towns do, more than half of Beeston's shops are charity shops, and I decided to have a look, as I often do, in the hope of finding something cheap and vintage, not looking forward to going to the gym later, and becoming one of those people who is turning my nose up even at Primark prices. So I ambled into Banardos, knowing that I'd given two bin bags of my old clothes to Cancer Research the day before, so would end up being confronted with half of my own wardrobe there, and wondered as I passed through the doors into the pungent aroma of the shop, as I have done on numerous occasions, WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO FART IN CHARITY SHOPS? Other shops seem to be able to avoid this tragedy, often smelling sweeter than the fresh green air outdoors, so why do people think it's acceptable to pop one off in charity shops? Is it because they feel, purely because they're in there, that they are doing their bit, giving something back to society, that everyone in the shop must be as kind-hearted and philanthropic as themselves, and therefore wouldn't mind the odd suspicious bouquet. Perhaps the general public feel that many of the people frequenting charity shops are so old and debilitated that their nostrils have become defective and therefore their anal vapors will go unnoticed? Or maybe, it is DUE to this fossilized demographic that charity shops smell so bad? We have all experienced elderly relatives who 'let one go' mid speech and carry on ignorant of the explosion and prolific stench that follows. Whoever the culprit (and I refuse to except the 'he who smelt it dealt it' rule here), Charity shops are not helping themselves by receiving these devious folk and they should perhaps consider purchasing some form of Glade in order to in fact sell any of their infamous cracked china or endless men's brown polo shirts.

    Despite the unwelcome visitor in Barnados today, I happened, mid gulp of air, to stumble across a right bargain! This dress I had seen and wanted in H&M not long ago in Nottigham, selling for £14.99 and today it was there, a midst the dated womenswear, perfectly in a size 10! and £3.99 at that! It will look lovely and 40's with a belt and I plan to wear it soon (after a wash - you never know where these fragrances can linger.) Needless to say, this bargain did indeed make up for the unpleasant tang of this shopping environment, but SHAME ON YOU if you have ever been one of those people who have, however silently, farted in a Charity Shop.