22 Things I Think It Is Imperative You Should Know

1. DO NOT drink yellow water. This is a similar warning to not eating yellow snow but with this one I have a little more personal experience. Our water was yellow the other day. At first I thought that the sink had changed colour. But alas the women next door said the drains were blocked and it had made her family ill. So, whatever you might think it is not just good quality Scottish water, it has bad things living in it. Unless perhaps you live in Scotland.

2. Rachel Phipps' blog is really good. She is much better at it than me, and I recommend you follow her, for recipes, product reviews and stunning photography. She inspired me to begin blogging.

3. I make a good Indian. Here I am with a big bloke and a moustache at the British Empire themed, camp summer  ball.  My outfit was given to me by my Godmother in Bahrain. I'm surprised it still fits.

Slightly fuzzy pictures of my Indian eyes, which I created using an Urban Decay 'Get Baked' eye shadow palette, a dodgy bindi drawn on with luckily not so permanent Sharpie, and silver gems from Claire's.

 

Dipping in the chocolate fountain. 

4. Do not call in to Ian's late show on Talksport radio and start dissing Rupert Murdoch. I heard Darren from Doncaster do this, and it did not end well. However I must point out that Talksport, as Ian will repeatedly
remind you, is not part of the Murdoch franchise.


5. You shouldn't wear leggings if your top comes above the crotch area. Nobody wants to see that saggy bit. Leggings are not a replacement for trousers, they are simply a comfortable covering for your legs - to be worn with long tops. Whatever you might think.....you are not Olivia Newton-John.

6. Rugeley town park really smells of sperm.

7. Partly due to the above statement, I think that Staffordshire is one of the saddest counties in Britain. Stafford, Stoke, Lichfield, Rugeley, Walsall - I cant think of an actual good town in Staffordshire. I feel sorry for their residents.

8. The G in G-string actually stands for groin! mmm nice.

9. It is possible to continuously sleep for 10 days. This is what a documentary taught me on BBC Three. Louisa Ball suffers from Kleine Levin Syndrome, so she managed to sleep right through her GCSE's with a valid excuse! You can watch the programme again here

10. It is also possible to pass A-Level English Literature without reading the texts. Well I managed to get an A at AS but I suppose the true test will come on August the 18th. There is either a problem with the OCR board in that if you just tick the assessment objectives you get the marks, or there is a real skill in reading the novel summaries online and learning quotations off by heart. I'd like to believe the latter.

11. My cousin is really cute

12. Hair removal cream really does make your legs softer for longer than shaving.

13. Nosepickers are the future! Well, I call them nosepickers but I have discovered that they are in fact called Lancet's. They are used to scrape out blackheads from your nose, and I bought one on line recently - £1.52 instead of £14 in Boots!

Ok so here they look like some kind of surgical implements, and I admit if you let someone do it to you it can be a little painful. One end has a loop of metal and the other a mini ice- cream scoop. However I recommend not tasting the contents. 

14. Twitter is for twits. But also a very good time waster and funny to laugh at peoples tweets.

15. Tim Henman is not actually called Tin Henman, as I used to beleive, and Tupperwear is no in fact Tuppelwear.

No no

16. Cocoa butter is great but probably best to buy the bottle without the pump as it gets clogged easy and your left with moisturiser you cant reach!

17. When it says 'Do not consume', DO NOT CONSUME.

18. It is possible to be afraid of quiche. It is not for men, but also is not for Amy.

19. Dolphins nap with one eye open

20. Train tickets go up in price almost by the minute. So if you know you're going somewhere - book it!

21. The person who is going to live till 150 has already been born.

22. Frijolemole is ACE.

MMMM buy it now. 

Why do people always fart in charity shops??

Today I visited my local town Beeston, which offers what you would expect from a small suburb of Nottingham, with the occasional fight outside Quality Seconds, a pub which offers a full English breakfast and a pint for £5, and a bank which opens for a maximum of 4 hours a week. After attempting to open a student bank account, to be faced with a firmly closed wooden door, I bought a couple of plays from the second hand book shop on the high street, in the hope of broadening my theatrical knowledge. They will probably be left untouched and will end up in the more caring hands of William. As most English towns do, more than half of Beeston's shops are charity shops, and I decided to have a look, as I often do, in the hope of finding something cheap and vintage, not looking forward to going to the gym later, and becoming one of those people who is turning my nose up even at Primark prices. So I ambled into Banardos, knowing that I'd given two bin bags of my old clothes to Cancer Research the day before, so would end up being confronted with half of my own wardrobe there, and wondered as I passed through the doors into the pungent aroma of the shop, as I have done on numerous occasions, WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO FART IN CHARITY SHOPS? Other shops seem to be able to avoid this tragedy, often smelling sweeter than the fresh green air outdoors, so why do people think it's acceptable to pop one off in charity shops? Is it because they feel, purely because they're in there, that they are doing their bit, giving something back to society, that everyone in the shop must be as kind-hearted and philanthropic as themselves, and therefore wouldn't mind the odd suspicious bouquet. Perhaps the general public feel that many of the people frequenting charity shops are so old and debilitated that their nostrils have become defective and therefore their anal vapors will go unnoticed? Or maybe, it is DUE to this fossilized demographic that charity shops smell so bad? We have all experienced elderly relatives who 'let one go' mid speech and carry on ignorant of the explosion and prolific stench that follows. Whoever the culprit (and I refuse to except the 'he who smelt it dealt it' rule here), Charity shops are not helping themselves by receiving these devious folk and they should perhaps consider purchasing some form of Glade in order to in fact sell any of their infamous cracked china or endless men's brown polo shirts.

    Despite the unwelcome visitor in Barnados today, I happened, mid gulp of air, to stumble across a right bargain! This dress I had seen and wanted in H&M not long ago in Nottigham, selling for £14.99 and today it was there, a midst the dated womenswear, perfectly in a size 10! and £3.99 at that! It will look lovely and 40's with a belt and I plan to wear it soon (after a wash - you never know where these fragrances can linger.) Needless to say, this bargain did indeed make up for the unpleasant tang of this shopping environment, but SHAME ON YOU if you have ever been one of those people who have, however silently, farted in a Charity Shop.

Leaving School

 I thought I'd share some of my photos from the last days at school. It was a really lovely end to 5 years of boot camp. This is my friends in Abbey and I before house supper on the friday night.

 Freya had a beautiful vintage dress she bought in London and she did my hair with one of those bun donuts which I really liked. My dress was my sister's and it was from topshop. I painted the flowers on my head myself, they were from Primarche.

 Me and the cousins from America. They came to my speech day and enjoyed having a picnic by the cricket.

 This is my sister Amy and little Lucy in her sunglasses.

 This is Lucy in mine.

 Dad, Amy and I before the ball :)

 Superstar football hero Johnny Gorman and myself, both mimicking his camera face. My dress here is from Warehouse with Asos sandals.

 Everyone in my year on the steps of Pears School.

 Will and I at drinks in the Garth.

 Me trying on Somerset's hat. Yes his name is Somerset.

 Hhaha the photograph ladies made us stand on the steps looking in different directions for some reasons!

Goodbye Repton and hello to the new chapter of my life, lets hope everybody achieves what they aim for awwww. I know I certainly will, my aim is to be living in a caravan with 8 kids and a donkey named camel.

From the seaside

Well although it's now been a couple of weeks since Will and I visited Suffolk, I thought these photographs were worth sharing and will remind me of a wonderful time at the coast. My Grandparents have a house in Wangford- great name I know, so we decided to go for the weekend after A-Levels. This is Southwold Lighthouse.

                                                

These are lovely prawn and tuna sandwiches we ate on the Pier on the last day. The Pier is amaazing and at this point we were sobbing as it was baking and we didn't want to come home :( 

This is Will unable to try out one of the amusements due to his puny height.

 Southwold Pier has these crazy amusements designed by Tim Hunkin in which you can test your nerve with a rabid dog in a cage, or rent one to walk down the promenade, be frisked by inflatable rubber hands or satisfyingly 'wack a banker'. The Under The Pier Show is definitely work a visit!

This is me 'Renting a Dog' which gathered quite a crowd around me. This is probably the only type of dog I'd consider having, it has no fur and can be turned off.

Here I am in front of the barrels wearing my tour badge with pride.

 This is when we did the famous Adnams Distillery Tour, where we got to taste their new gin, vodka and limoncello.  I would have appreciated some lemonade to go with it. It was the second distillery tour I'd been to where I broke my camera after too many samples!

I am a qualified lifeguard so I felt it would be appropriate for me to have a picture here. If anyone is interested - my skirt was kindly given to me by a friend, it was a charity shop buy for her art project, my top and bag are from Urban Outfitters, and shoes Topshop.

The best beach huts I've ever seen. I want to live in one. That is not allowed.

These are pebbles piled on the groynes that we thought a man had put there but in fact we saw a painting later that evening with this on so they must have been there for a while.

Here is Will and our favourite Licourice Sticks from Nutters Sweet shop.

 Here is what appears to be an old man, having some laughs, building a knob on the beach, and a small naked child.

Other highlights from the trip include crabbing in Walberswick - Will = 30, Sarah = 22, and SEEING THE ACTUAL DARKNESS IN A THAI RESTAURANT in Lowestoft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though sadly I was way too starstruck and chicken to talk to them. CAN YOU BELEIVE IT THOUGH, we walked into this Thai lady's front room and who were the only people in there, sat at a table in the corner THE DARKNESS!!!!


That concludes my visit to Wangford for taday xxx

ROY WALKER IS NOT A FICTIONAL CONSTRUCT!

I REPEAT, ROY WALKER LIVES!
So, earlier I was watching perhaps the 4th daytime tv programme of the day, after Cash in the Attic, Coach Trip and Loose Women, (this is what happens to you after leaving the rigid structure of 5 years at boarding school), I turned over to Come Dine With Me which I find funny due to the contestants lack of actual cooking ability and the voice over man. I wish I could see his face. However this episode was a 'Celebrity Special' and I was shocked to hear the iconic voice of the man who features on  Radio One's 'Car Park Catchphrase' coming from a very red man who loudly entered through Bruce Jones' front door, before he was served a really disturbing looking prawn cocktail, which he pretended  was full of bones, to the amusement of none of the rest of the table.

Here Mr Walker appears to be eating the women in front of him's head

One of the things that is comedy about 'Celebrity Special's' is the contestants clearly are not famous but apparently other members of the public did actually know that Roy Walker is alive. I say is, lets hope Bruce Jones didn't poison his guests with the 'luke warm' sauce he served next.

Firstly:
1. NOONE CAN HAVE THAT AS A REAL VOICE
and
2. WHO CALLS THERE SON ROY?

We call a friend at school Roy because she of her rude and crap banter, maybe his parents knew that their son would grow to become a Comedian.

This is him and how i feel when i hear him,  

just listen for yourself  :   Good Morning

Frankly I'd rather stick a fork in my eye

My Cock

This is painful

He looks like a spoon to me

Sadly Yvette won the competition and Roy Walked away empty handed. Better stick to the catchphrases ey Roy. 

The first thing that concerns me about making a blog is WHO AM I TALKING TO ??? It seems a very odd concept writing messages about my everyday life to 'people out there' but even if noone cares or listens I think its quite a good idea and will certainly keep me busy, if I dont end up getting bored of it. As a child I used to start diary's and write stupid cringe things that my older sister would get hold of and deface. So suffice to say the diary habit never lasted long. It may be useful too as I hope to work in the media/entertainment/theatre industry so this could help me get my work out there (or make me look like someone who has too much time on their hands!) Also I am worried about looking like a geek being on my laptop the whole time or getting four eyes or a neck problem but I am quite sad in that I recently got a new battery for my laptop as before it was literally a desktop, and am now enjoying being portable! 

Lets hope I wont be needing one of these!

This will certainly help with my blogging efforts but may be a detriment to my lappy as I have already spilt something sticky on him whilst cooking. My boyfriend and I are going to different University's in September and he is already underway rehearsing for a play that is being put on this summer at the Manchester 24/7 festival and the Edinburgh Fringe -  Sherica, so this may be a nice way of him having a look at what I'm up to (not like that!)  Will originally auditioned for a 14 year old with tourettes that visits the prostitute Sherica and he was asked whether he was ok with nudity! I found it quite funny as he looks like a man child, but he's stepped up in the world and is now playing a 15 year old named Douglas. 

Sherica - showing at the Sachas Hotel Manchester  from the 22nd- 29th of July and  at The Vault in Edinburgh from the  8th - 29th of August

HELLO

Hello and welcome to my first ever post on my first ever blog. I never thought i'd be the kind of person who has a blog, mainly because I am rubbish at technology buuut i thought i'd give it a go, 2 days in to the summer holidays after finishing 14 years of education forever and inspired by my friend Rachel whose beautiful photographs and posts I look forward to receiving regularly. Plus I spend far too much time on facebook. Yesterday, slightly hanging after my Leavers Ball, I managed to watch the entire series of Made in Chelsea and I am sad to say that I am still sat in the very same chair that I was in then, however this time showered! So here goes. I aim to post some of my thoughts and musings like I would with the diary that my boyfriend keeps trying to get me to write, but here with photographs, recipes and links to things I enjoy - who knows I may become a budding photographer, chef or novelist, and I'm hoping this will get me out of the house so I can create some interesting posts for you all to enjoy.
Sarah xxx